10-0

The Undertaker vs. Ric Flair (No Disqualification Match) -- WrestleMania X-8, March 17, 2002

　

So a year has gone by and the entire Invasion angle has come and gone, setting the wrestling world on fire. In a "scorched earth and millions in dollars burnt to a crisp" way, that is. So Taker spent that time in a feud with Diamond Dallas Page, who had morphed into a creepy guy stalking his wife, then as one of the front line for Team WWF. And of course, as soon as the angle was over, Taker turns heel, because, seriously, fuck logic.

Also on that front, the DAY AFTER WCW was buried forever, WWF trots out the returning Ric Flair as new "co-owner" of the company, just in the nick of too late to do the Invasion angle any damn good. He feuded with Vince McMahon for a bit, then transitioned to a feud with the Dead Man leading up to Mania. This was all setting up the big split where Raw and Smackdown became separate brands, with Flair controlling Raw and Vince handling Smackdown.

Anyway, Taker hasn't changed anything with his heel turn, except in the form of a massive haircut. Still rides the hog, still comes out to Limp Bizkit (though again it's edited out of this release) and still garners tons of cheers as he enters. Ross makes mention of Taker's 9-0 record, as it's becoming a bigger deal by this point. Fun fact: This would be the last "WWF" WrestleMania, as just a few months later legalities would mutate the company into the "WWE" it remains today.

Oddly, it seems like they're overdubbing Flair's music, too, though it's still "Also Sprach Zarathustra." What, did they somehow lose the rights to the specific recording they used? It's a public domain song, for pete's sake. Flair strips off the robe and dives in right away, hammering away on the Dead Man. Big blow sends Taker to the floor, and the brawl continues as Flair tackles Taker over the announcer's desk. The English one, for the record, which doesn't break. More obvious table racism. Keep fighting, my Spanish table brothers! IKEA! IKEA!

Flair continues the pounding on Taker, then lets out our first Mania "Whoo!!!" in ten years. Flair keeps up the assault, shrugging off any blows Taker throws his way. Taker retreats back into the ring, but Flair's hot on his heels and continues with the blows until Taker tumbles to the floor again. Flair goes all LUCHA on us, attempting a dive from the apron, but Taker catches him and rams him to the post. Ross brings up Flair's broken back, which happened nearly 30 years before this match occurred, but who knows, it may still be tender.

Taker tosses Flair to the steps then back inside, but Flair's up already and gets right back on the assault. Strange, you'd figure that woulda started a Taker heat segment. Taker gets whalloped by multiple Flair blows, but quickly responds by tossing Flair to the corner and firing away at the midsection and head. Taker whips Flair to the corner, and Flair tries to do one of his famous Flips, but he can't even clear the top rope with both feet. Sigh.

Taker gets right back on the assault after the miscue with blows in the corner, then whips Flair again, and this time Flair hits the Flip, just in time for Taker to give him the big boot to the floor. Taker is bleeding from the cheek, which I seriously doubt is a bladejob. Um, ouch. Taker heads out after Flair and yells, "Now we go to school," which is just insult to injury. He drops Flair in the timekeeper's chair and starts wailing away with punches, then walks away to jaw at the ref, Jim Ross, fans, whoever is available to jaw at as long as it gives Ric time to blade.

Taker continues the assault on the now-bloody (SHOCK! SURPRISE!) Flair. We finally head back in and Taker boots the woozy Flair while he remains on the mat. A few blows in the corner and Flair flops to the mat in exhaustion. But when he gets up, Flair lights up Taker's chest with chops that almost echo. Flair tries a whip to the corner but Taker reverses, then a big clothesline puts him back in the driver's seat. More pounding by the Dead Man leads to the delightful sight of a drop of Flair's blood on the camera lens. Yee-uck.

Back up and Taker continues the attack with a whip and clothesline, then he puts Taker on top for one hell of a top rope superplex, then a cover...for two, but only because Taker picked Flair up. Usually, that's the first mistake of the villain who will lose in shame as a result of his own hubris. You know, something tells me that ain't gonna happen here. What would that be? Oh yeah, the fact that I'm watching this on a DVD set dedicated to Taker's undefeated streak.

Taker grinds his forearm on Flair's forehead, leaving a bloody smear down Taker's arm. Flair lets fly with a chop, but Taker quickly pounds Flair back to the ground. Taker drags Flair to the apron, then hits elbows to his neck from the floor, followed by his big legdrop on the apron. Back in, another cover, another two, another pick-up by Taker. More pounding by the Taker, and after that initial flurry, this match has become watching Flair get mauled for minutes with no response. While Flair is awesome at selling, this is getting a wee bit tiresome, dudes.

Ross: "One of these days, someone's gonna kick ol' Booger Red's ass!" Yes, he's talking about Taker. "Booger Red" was actually a nickname Ross tried to use for Taker for a while. First off, how comparing a major star to snot was supposed to be a great marketing strategy, I have no idea. And second, if your boogers are red, see a doctor.

Taker finally misses an elbow drop, giving Flair an opening to start chopping away until Taker hammers him back down to retake control. Taker sets up the rope walk, but Flair drags Taker down. Flair starts chopping away again, but Taker catches him in a sidewalk slam for two. (Flair actually kicks out this time.) Taker tries a big boot but Flair ducks and Taker kinda-sorta crotches himself on the top rope. Flair again hits chops to send Taker to the floor. You know, for the greatest wrestler of all time, Flair has basically done nothing but punch, chop, punch, chop. I know he's long in the tooth by this point, but let's bust out the moveset here, Ric.

Flair heads to the floor and rakes Taker's face, then grabs a lead pipe from his chopper. At this point, I'll take some weapons shots, just for variety in Flair's offense. A few blows from the pipe and now Taker's bleeding, too, just to raise the likelihood of Hepatitis C. Be careful, you don't know where ol' Naitch has been, Dead Man. Taker tackles Flair to the apron, sending the pipe rolling hilariously across the ring and to the opposite floor, as the combatants watch. I'll betcha dollars to donuts we had more spots with that pipe that we now have to cancel. Ah well.

Taker drags Flair up the aisle and tosses him to the barricade, then walks away for a seconds so Flair can grab a "Keep Off" sign to hit him with. Back inside we go for piston punches to Taker's cranium, but Flair walks right into the goozle...but Flair low-blows Taker before he can hit the chokeslam. Flair slaps on the Figure Four, which may be the first wrestling hold Flair has used in this match, and Taker struggles and almost gets pinned...then sits up and goozles Flair again to break the hold. Taker hits the chokeslam, selling the knee the whole time. Cover for two, and Taker's put on his "What the hell?!?!?" facial expression for emphasis.

Taker pounds away and then covers Flair for two again. Taker launches a formal protest of the referee's call by ramming him to the corner, then heads to the floor to retrieve the lost pipe. Oh, Pipey, how we've missed you! Welcome home! Poppa Booger and Momma Naitch have big plans for you! Taker heads in but Flair cuts him off with more chops, then whips him...and sidesteps as ARN FREAKING ANDERSON comes outta nowhere to hit his epic spinebuster on the Dead Man. HELL YEAH. It only gets two, though, and the kickout sends Flair to the floor.

Taker decides to pound on Anderson for a bit in retribution, busting Arn open, as well, then applying a dragon sleeper, apparently hoping to get a tap out from the guy not in the match. This is a legally questionable tactic, but it means more Arn Anderson in this match, so let's go with it. Up comes Flair to blast Taker with a chair a buncha times, which Taker finally stops with a big boot to the face. Taker tries to give Flair the Last Ride, but Flair can't go up for it, so Taker changes his mind and hits the Tombstone for the pin. Taker counts the wins on his hands and signals "TEN" to the crowd to celebrate. Flair tried, I'll give him that, but with his endless punch-chop approach and Taker's lopsided dominance, and this ended up a pretty lackluster match.